Since Dinner Time
People Don't Just Stop and Stare When We Do the News


Welcome to the Opinion Page. Here the editors, staff, and guests of RPNN will opine upon subjects great and small... usually small. While facts may be introduced, they are secondary to the two-step process of making them look either like fools or saints, and the entertainment of the RPNN public at large.

Images are copyright of Overnight Films, Troublemaker Studios, 20th Century Fox, Overnight Films, and Troublemaker Studios.

Movie Review

‘Hop’ steals holiday movie magic for Easter
By Ezra Mann (Editor in Spoof)

There’s no holiday season whored out quite like Christmas, so it’s interesting to see something outside the annual Yuletide flick. It doesn’t seem that long ago that the other festive special days had some kind of tribute, heck even Charlie Brown handled the spring with stuff like “It’s the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown.”

Once the trailers for this film were clear enough to indicate what was really going on I actually marked it on my to see list just so I could see something that wasn’t about the cookie munching guy in the red suit. The end result was even better and though gimmicky, I found myself laughing during just about every scene. “Hop” presents itself as the first excellent animated film of 2011 and is sure to be a family classic.

The adventure in this tale follows the lives of two free spirited individuals, a young Easter Bunny in training named E.B. (Russell Brand) and Fred O’Hare (James Marsden), a young man who may be taking to long to find his own lot in life. Young E.B. starts to not feel so motivated to take up the mantle of holiday worker from his dad (Hugh Laurie), instead wishing to pursue a dream as drummer and when he decides to make a dash for Hollywood, our two main characters paths cross.

O’Hare’s life quickly takes a turn for the quirky with every passing moment he spends with E.B., but despite this, their futures may be more intertwined than either realize. Add to this a revolutionary chick named Carlos who has aspirations of doing Easter his own way and choices that could be good or bad for everyone around them for years to come. Those who might seem skeptical before watching may be pleasantly surprised with the goofy flow right until the very end.

Though there are a few jokes just for the adults who are dragged along by their kids, this movie is another example of something no one should be offended by (even the only problem I had being an abrupt ending wasn’t that big a deal). I may not own it, but would certainly be open to seeing it again as a rental.

I’ll also give kudos to the minds that successfully followed up “Despicable Me,” which I also thoroughly enjoyed. In the end, it’s money well spent before the pile of blockbusters of summer arrive. This earns “Hop” four out of five treats.

‘Machete’ almost as good as bad gets
DVD Review
Humanity is no stranger to making life-impacting decisions in the name of absurdity, Hollywood being a champion of that cause on countless occasions. Chief among them is the drug of choice for guys everywhere, the explosion inducing, bullet-riddled, gory action flick.

Still, until the primitive side of our very nature is either outlawed or becomes a victim of evolution I might as well keep watching ridiculous offerings like the one in the headline. This film does not try to hide the fact that it is just as silly as it is gritty and despite all the things wrong, it makes you respect it in the end. “Machete” in some ways brings a slightly different flavor to action adventures, while still maintaining all the classic things brain-dead moviegoers root for.

The bizarre story focuses on Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo), a former Federale (think Mexico’s version of CIA or FBI) who decides to fade out of public life after his wife and daughter are taken out by a drug lord named

Rogelio Torrez (Steven Seagal). He somewhat succeeds at least for a little while as an illegal immigrant in the United States, until he gets pulled into a revolution by other immigrants and an assassination scheme of Texas Senator John McLaughlin (Robert De Niro). These events force him to take on his former rather unpleasant, knife-weilding persona, though not without the help of allies like his brother Padre Cortez (Cheech Marin) and immigrant troublemaker Luz (Michelle Rodriguez). An extra neat little bit of information is that this character makes cameos of sorts in all three Spy Kids movies (same director by the way) and the “Grindhouse” double feature.

However, it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t warn audiences that the adult content in this motion picture is rather extreme at times with no shortage of blood/violence, strong language and some nudity. It’s not really a kid friendly movie at all in other words, but if you can get by this and some of the spoof of Hispanic stereotypes it makes for a decent popcorn night.

I would not rule out watching it again for pure laughs, but only if I had some of my other guy friends around (the ladies probably won’t find it as entertaining). In the end, don’t expect anything more than b-movie making at it’s cheesiest. As a result I’d say “Machete” earns a screaming two out of five blades.

Previous Opinion: Easy A DVD Review.

1031 B.C. - 2010 A.D., Really Pathetic, LLC.