Dead RPP Society
Maybe it is just another form of self inflicted pain, but the Society section will be for those rare instances when there is more than two entertainment stories or just feel like throwing in story that just defies all other sections.
Rock Benefit for Fuel
As fuel prices rise around the world and people feel the squeeze caused by troubles in Libya, the ongoing financial crisis, and the continuing failure of someone else to fix this for us.
INXS, The Ramones and Van Halen have drawn together a number of other 80’s bands who have suffered “membership attrition through natural causes” to perform a benefit concert with the hope of raising enough funds offset the rising fuel prices and bring relief to the world.
Considering that in order to be successful such a concert will have to raise nine trillion dollars to cover the next twelve months some would call this a tall order. However the still living Ramone brother people usually know has said that “if we can get the world together to pay for our concert they can pay for their own fuel, so it’s like, in their best interests and that.”
Despite the spurious logic of that, and every other statement purportedly explaining just what’s going on, a surprising number of bands are signing up to participate in the benefit concert.
This has not been completely seamless. Whitesnake, Ratt, Ugly Kid Joe and Warrant were supposed to perform as well, but each demanded that they play some of their more recent work, and not “that one song” each was known for. This left organisers with absolutely nothing to draw the crowds as even the names of these bands are less well known than their one hit wonders.
On the other hand popular and well known bands, most notably Journey, have opted out of participating, stating that this “is the saddest, most ill considered and desperate attempt for attention since the last thing Lindsay Lohan did.”
Standing one legged atop a camel with a penguin in her left hand Lindsay Lohan said that she did not believe that remark to be fully fair and said that blame for poor sales of her latest CD should be blamed on the Rolling Stones, who in turn declined to comment as they wanted absolutely no part in this.
Meanwhile organisation of the event itself is proving challenging. Finding an appropriate space for all the egos outside of a nuclear testing area is the main problem, the combined personalities and petty disputes from the Van Halens and Ramones alone are feared to be enough to cause a personality singularity. Throw Bret Michaels into the mix and it’s entirely possible the whole event will collapse under its own neuroses into a quantum ego reality singularity event. Such a thing could destroy music as a form of entertainment.
The was downplayed by David Lee Roth, well known for having a PhD in nothing at all let alone anything related to this, who said that at worst this could prove a more viable means of raising enough money, as more people would pay for the show not to happen.
Upon hearing this Styxx promptly ejected Roth from the band, who retorted by quitting instead. No one has told either that he was never a member of the group.
Past Society: Review of Tron Legacy.